Three encores of, "Oh, Sonny Boy" backed only by accordion
Three rows of pale brunettes protect him from the crowd
The curtain is a patchwork of imitation vermillion
And a red bulb hangs low above the throne that has been found

♪
This is the scene on Main Street when John 50 comes to town
Yes, this is the scene on Main Street when John 50 comes to town

Crowds of every age, creed and gender are abound
Signor kitsch sings skits detailing each attendees sins
First time anteaters lose themselves in the wings
With vigour they scratch red spots, overwhelmed by their king
♪
In all the world there's no escape from this infernal din
In all the world there's no escape from this infernal din
Children of Bethlehem, come all boys and girls
Come, listen to these, my eternal words
Judge not who you see by whatever they may say
But by their round eyes, lips, ears and curves
A man is his country, your country is you
All bad is forewarned, all good will come true
These words are heard on Main Street when John 50 comes to town
Yes, these words are heard on Main Street when John 50 comes to town
♪
This garbling non-song whips throng into frenzy
The echoes of his crooning now cease to be heard
No-longer-pale brunettes are broken in two
And thrown to the snouts of the anteater crew
John 50 is in tatters
His soapbox usurped
His torn robes adorn the tree stumps of earth
No hack with an army
Will last long before he
Breeds men who yearn
For their own bloody glory
♪
That was the scene on Main Street when John 50 came to town
Yes, that was the scene on Main Street when John 50 came to town