Shawty always wanna change for me Shawty always wanna change for me Then tells me "I hate you" she hates me I never want you to change for me Never want you to change for me Cause you hate me yuh I hate me too I apologize to everyone that I've ever did wrong Point. blank. period. so I'm writing these songs To forever write my wrongs it's hard to move on But I know no matter what I can never erase those wrongs I wanna tell you all of my problems and thoughts From the bad to the good, in my head there's a lot But it's bad for you, to pour any of this negative onto you. So what do I do? I keep it to myself, let it grow in my head Let it pulsate my heart, let it stack up my bread Pain is the rain, flower is the music Keep me rooted, why are people so God damn illusive? Trying to find a balance in the music and my mental Too much pain can weigh me down it can be detrimental In my head, why do I give people a lifelong rental Who don't deserve it, I'm too real too sentimental I wish i can go to you, God The only one who can judge me, who will always love me I will always trust the path that you chosen for me But tell me why you give me so much adversity Maybe its for my artistry maybe its for my armory Maybe it's so no one can ever hit the heart of me I've begged to you on my knees to heal the pain, To help the people I love and help them do the same But it's forever right? I've learned that lesson lately Time will heal it, but it's gonna remain in you greatly And if you get lazy, it's gonna drive you crazy For my own safety, one day at a time, stay steady Gonna be shaky, filled with bumps and bruises Luckily, the only thing I got is me and my music It's the reason I'm reclusive, it's how my mind diffuses It transfers me out where I don't feel like a nuisance Conversating feeling like a ghost trapped in a shell Cause I feel like no ones really listens to me and my hell Nowadays, everyone's in a different planet I had it, I try to speak but they just add to this damage Rob me of my peace like a bandit When I try to speak about my pain, you don't try to understand it You try to take advantage better off leaving me abandoned, uh Only time I feel heard is when I paint my words on a canvas Sometimes, I can put in a panic Where I can't manage, have the feeling of wanting to vanish Staying average is a thought, so I dont have to carry all of this baggage But that's not me, always been the type to take up a challenge Stay famished, till I'm living lavish with wisdom and expand it Ohhhh Holding my own don't need no else, no I don't I know the feeling of being alone and there's no one close Oh So tell, tell, tell me how you want me to be Tell, tell me how you want me to be Tell me how you want me to be Tell me why you always gotta lie to me Tell me why you always gotta lie to me I can't take it Cause you will break it Tell me why you always gotta lie to me Tell me why you always gotta lie to me I wish I could go to you But I know you already have enough on your plate Damn, I wish I could go to you So you can help me heal the ache like God I'm in pain