It's about 10 o'clock
So you've put back a few
I'm not here to judge
Or hold it against you
In fact, I'm delighted, excited
That you can go out with your friends
I'll stay in
Just do you
It's 11 o'clock
So you're good and fucked up
I've seen you out enough
To figure out what's up
It's the fifteenth round
You're dancin' upside down
With your hands on the table
Singing way too loud
But where's my drunk text?
Where's my, Hey baby, let's have sex
Like, "Are you naked?" "Well, can you be
Guess you're not as faded
As I'd hoped you'd be
Because it's 2AM
An you're chillin' curbside
Got kicked out of the Uber
That you tried to joyride
Hit on chicks at the party
Straight up got denied
I reach into my pocket
For a phantom text vibe
But still no drunk text
Not even, Hey my penis is erect
And I'd blame it on your
Self respect
But I can't
Because it's 4 in the morning
And I Googled your name
To see if you're still alive
'Cause nothing else can explain
Why your ghostin' ass
Chooses to ignore me
What the fuck
You just looked at my
Instagram story
But no texts
At all
Where in the name of God
Is my booty call
Gonna throw my phone
Against the wall
Oh shit, you called