I part these lips,
And try to speak.
Departing whispers,
That turn to screams.
And I know it's wrong,
But now it seems,
These words are falling,
Like dying leaves.
And one by one,
I hold them close to me,
Trying to revive them,
As the wind blows through the trees,
And I hear it cry.
It sings to me,
But I cannot move,
And I cannot breathe.
I'm so much more broken,
Than I thought I was.
I had such high expectations,
And faith in my bonds.
They're shredded like leaves in the dirt.
Once vibrant,
Now dead and divided;
These unlit windows,
Offer me no solace.
I long to sleep,
In eternal silence.
I thought I was past this.
I told her I needed her.
But I could feel her pulling back.
I can't blame her.
I need to do this for myself.
There's always the anger.
It hasn't softened since,
The day that you left me behind.
Do you expect me to live for the both of us?
You gave up.
You have no right to look down on me.
Your eyes are vacant,
As you stare at me.
And this paranoia,
It will not leave.
So I'll carve a message,
Into the trees,
Of all of the words,
You never bothered trying to read.
And I hear them whispering.
And I cannot see.
But that's how it's got to be.
Back and forth and back and forth;
Trapped in place.
That's how it's got to be.
It's got to be.
Dragged down,
In unease.
I'll take the fall,
Because that's how it's got to be.
But I know it's wrong.
But that's how it's got to be.
Fake smiles and laughter,
They were never my friends.
They threw a rope to me,
Wound of selfishness.
I would fall and they would let me.
So just let me fall.
I deserve this.