She took me to a pub to meet her friends She didn't bother to introduce me I was embarrassed to no end If she so much as noticed, she kept it to herself I don't think she's evil, just insensitive to anyone else And I really do love Penelope Though I know it may sound strange for me to say But I really really do love Penelope Not that it makes much difference, anyway If the girl gets drunk and falls down I would carry her home And maybe she'd do the same for me But I don't know You know I'd like to find out, but I can wait I can't help but have a little faith in the girl But I really do love Penelope Though I know it may sound strange for me to say Oh, but I really really do love Penelope Not that it makes much difference, anyway Variations on a theme "Oh, get thee away from me," Pulled from her lips onto my ear Reluctantly I urged my feet on in retreat Oh, for once she made her position clear Still, I really do love Penelope Though I know it may sound strange for me to say You know, I really, really do love Penelope Not that it makes much difference, either way