I'm still searching for a purpose
Expecting myself to be nailing it perfect
But I know that I won't
I still think that I won't
Cause I'm falling
Faster even though I'm going all in
Cause lately it's like nothing's really working
And for the first time I've been fucking nervous to succeed
Because all I ever wanted was to be accepted
But every time I'm faced with this rejection
I tell myself that's all I'll ever be
And that's my own fault honestly
I'm falling victim to self infliction and blame
I've lost my patience so much to this idea of fame
Yeah I've come so far but I've been scared that I might never change
Afraid that everything I've learned will fade and I'll just stay the same
Oh, can't put this pressure down hope I don't let you drown,
I've learned my lesson now and if I don't ever get this crown, I'm cool
Even though it means a lot
I've stared at the rest of the world til they become the things I'm not
Instead of seeing what I got, I push on what I am
So lost outside of reality that it's hard to understand
When my persistence goes to plan and I get what I deserve
When the breakthroughs make their entrance it gets hard to find the words
To explain what I'm feeling, have I even been healing?
This doubt has left a scar with all the time it's been stealing
But I know I can't complain after all the things I've gained
You can tell the difference when it's running through somebody's veins
I wanna change cause I've been...
Cause I'm falling
Faster even though I'm going all in
Cause lately it's like nothing's really working
And for the first time I've been fucking nervous to succeed
Because all I ever wanted was to be accepted
But every time I'm faced with this rejection
I tell myself that's all I'll ever be
And that's my own fault honestly
Honestly, I can 't take anymore
Whatchu know about missing meals,
Losing focus and puking from lack of sleep?
Poppin oxy's, coppin chronic, passing out til I hit repeat
Failing more than I need to, it's like my voice became see through
What about when the demons that you thought you buried still defeat you
I could read you my life, and it still wouldn't match with the feeling
When I speak my mind, I feel at times that I'm just not that appealing
At a younger age my mother doubted what I believed in
No matter how many times I fought, she never gave me a reason
That's why I can't help but pray for local posers that are rapping
And they think that what they say is really matching how they're acting
And you know who are, and I might be jealous of the moves
But while you're winning, let me give you some insight on how to lose
Would you still have the drive if the engine kept overheating?
And the ones that'll say that they're riding with you eventually end up leaving?
And you break down and your heart's out of place
I don't ever wish that upon you but I would love to see ur face if it happens
Cause I'm falling
Faster even though I'm going all in
Cause lately it's like nothing's really working
And for the first time I've been fucking nervous to succeed
Because all I ever wanted was to be accepted
But every time I'm faced with this rejection
I tell myself that's all I'll ever be
And that's my own fault honestly
All I ever wanted was to be accepted
But everytime I'm faced with this rejection
I tell myself that's all I'll ever be
That's my own fault honestly