Anxiety's like a leaf on a tree, it comes and it goes
Says bye for a season until it blooms and it grows
Trauma's like the root from the seed, it grips and it holds
You can never just rip it out, it leaves a scar in your soul
People laugh at pigmentations, color leaves that'll grow
Some days I'm very yellow, orange next time I show
I didn't pick the type of leaf I got, I meet the crop, I'm dealt, a lot I felt
I'm often in hell, I'm done with myself
I'm living in jail, my life in a cell, I fight with the devil, I been a rebel
Hyping thе self, chasing the wealth, what do I do? That's what I been taught
Whеn I was in school, they told me to choose career that I'll pay, take me away
Not what I want, at least I'll be safe, I'll never be happy, at least I'll be paid
Yuh, never could finish my lessons, uh
I was so caught in depression, uh
I would be failing my classes, making me feel like I'll always be less than
What family wanted, always feel like an opponent
They just want all these degrees, Uncle told me that I'd blown it
Whoever's in your garden, they'll be planting seeds
Some of bitterness, jealousy, some of grief
Some people forced their way around the meadow
Planting seeds of harm, you never know until the trees around you bleed, yuh
I've always been anxious, I mean
You know, the hardest part was just feeling so helpless
Like, nothing we could do would really help
They told me, "Run back"
There's no other way to get my trust back
I just gave my all and you gave none back
I always thought that I would be above that
What's the point of fam if you don't love back?
That's the truth and you don't hear me
Disagree, you don't come near me
So much hurt inside my head
I've had a problem thinking clearly
So much trauma I ain't deal with
Now, it's coming out unwillingly
Don't think y'all been feeling me
I'm lost, ain't no one searching around to come take care of me
Adolescence, I had learned some lessons
Like you live alone, you die alone and that's depressing
When they knock you to the ground, that's when you see blessings
Lord
Something in the back of your head saying, "Don't talk about it
People don't talk about it"
When you talk about it, the less people feel alone