Yo Charlie! Gimme a taste!
Gimme a taste o' that north woods bass!
Well Crimeny Cripes. Holy Frights
Crimeny-cripe, cripe-crimeny
I'm about to introduce myself right now
Well what you're about to hear right now is about a group o' guys
And you might have seen us on a lake, in de woods,
Or at de Friday night fish fries
We come from all around de state as the masters of our trade
And huntin' and fishin' competition is how us guys get paid
And we challenge anyone to an outdoor sports contest
Cause if there's a gun or a rod involved
Without a doubt we're de best!
Well, now ya gonna hear how we hunt deer
Drink beer and catch trophy pike!
So now it's time to move down de line, and I'm a cast Charlie de mic!
Now what de hey! Fish filet!
Ugly stick, Ice pick, Ice auger!
No matter what the time o year
I'm catchin' perch, walleye & sauger!
Or when it comes to bass - I kick ass
I catch 'em right and left, left and right
And you better feel sorry for any fish that would dare put up a fight!
Even rough fish- you want 'em I got 'em
I'll find 'em wherever they are
I'm talkin' sheephead, bullhead, rock bass, carp
Even alligator gar!
Ya might have seen me at de walleye fest
As de contest first place winner
Throw a cast with a Mr. Twister curly worm
On a rig with a Little Joe Spinner
There's no doubt around I wear the walleye crown
And when I take my catch down
De taxidermist knows it's because of me
That he's the richest guy in town!
I soak my bait in beer, cast it off de pier
And reel 'em in like a snap
But enough about me, comin' up, can't ya see
It's the eligible Earl Crap!
Well an E-A-R-L, to the C-R-A and P
I gotta license to hunt on me
When I hunt small game I like to take aim
At them feisty little squirrels
But when it comes to huntin' trophy game
I'm at de tavern trappin' girls!
I've been told I'm de most wanted bachelor
All around dese parts
And all dem women in de taverns you know
I'm busy breakin' der hearts
On a date wit a girl with a 6-pack o' beer
We're down by de lake a strolling
But when I really want to impress my date
We'll get dressed up to go bowling!
I like de girls that won't complain
No matter what I do
And that includes me barfin' up Blatz
Or spittin' out a wad o' chew!
For all you girls that like my style
It's you I'd like to meet
So get up here, put yer hands in de air
And dance to de beat!
Schlovatchschlovitz, fish sandwich
Got the big beer belly need to feed it
The only thing better than shootin' game
Is cookin' it up to eat it
I like kraut wit my trout, curds wit my birds
But I'll eat anything you got
And my favorite phrase that'll make my day is a
Charlie's got a Johnsonville brat!
I shoot woodcock, grouse, rabbit, squirrel
I shoot deer and I shoot turkey
And all da game dat I bring home gets processed into jerky!
Tater tots, Haagen Dazs
Late night snacks make me happy
But what I really like at 2 am
Is a beer and some pan-fried crappie
Holy smokes, no more cokes
Barley, yeast, malt and hops
Cause beer goes great wit everything
And tonight it's venison chops!
Oh choppy-chop, loin chop
Rump-chop, backstrap wienie
Deer parts makin' me hungry now
So I'm a pass da mic to Sweeney!
Well I'm de B-Y-R-O-N, ya know
And it's my turn to go, crimeny-cry
Cause de S-W-E-E-N-E-Y would like to say Hey, Guy!
All right everybody, I'm Byron Sweeney
A name you might well know
You might a seen it in a record book
Or de credits of a huntin' show!
Now ever since I was a baby boy
12-Guage was my nick-name
And when de other kids were eatin' baby food
I was gnawin' on a piece o' game!
I grew up shootin' every wild animal dat came within my sight
And I figured out how ta clean a deer
Before I could even read or write!
From pluggin' ducks to snipin' bucks
I got records across the state
I can kill wit a gun, bow, knife or bare hands
And that's why I'm so great!
So if you ever get de chance to hunt wit me
Ya better take it - you'll wish you had
But there's a guy who can fish as good as I hunt
Well Holy Crap Snap swivel, Flip it an' reel
An' listen up guy cause I'm a tell ya the deal
Now I am known around de state
As the one and only pike master
And I can win any tournament
I cast farther and reel faster
I don't need all dat fancy gear
Cripes-sakes der guy you know it
I gotta 20 horse Evinrude outboard motor on a 15 foot John boat!
I never got a snag, I have to brag
Cause I just can't be so subtle
Cause I can catch a pike in any lake any river
Heck I'll even catch one in a puddle!
Now whatever I get, it's catch and release
But let's keep one thing clear
It's not that I care about the fish that much
Its cause my live well's filled wit beer!
Schlovachlovitz and Earl Crap
When it comes to any outdoor sport