It's not that I don't love you, you know how much I do It's not that I'm afraid at all, or that I'm feeling blue I'm not angry I'm not sick, there's nothing wrong me You must understand my love I'm lazy, lazy as can be I'm a lazy, lazy man I stay as lazy as I can Heaven to me is watching Jeopardy! with my feet up on your upholstery Waking up and working are two kinds of hell Loafing is a sacred vow If you're watching you might be able to tell, I'm rolling over now Go ahead, take a walk if you like Play some tennis, water plants, ride your bike I'll be here inanimate, idle, pardon me if I appear suicidal Oh I lay my head on a hard loaf of bread wake me when the meal is through Breakfast in bed would be better instead, if I only didn't have to chew I'm a lazy, lazy man I stay as lazy as I can Heaven to me is watching Jeopardy! with my feet up on your upholstery Waking up and working are two kinds of hell Loafing is a sacred vow If you're watching you might be able to tell, I'm rolling over now