Riding that perfect train of thought
It wasn't allowed and I got caught
Thrown in the laundry like a dirty cloth
Welcome to the wild wild world
Stuck in the middle of a real shootout
With the marshall and the sheriff and all the scouts
Ran for cover from where the lawyers shout
Welcome to the wild wild world
Too hazy to slide, slide, slide, slide, oh down
A slick slidin' board
Too lazy to climb, climb, climb, climb
To where it takes the heart away
Like an eagle over half-moon bay
Teacher said, "Count"
I said, "A, B, C"
For the alphabet I said, "1, 2, 3"
Went down to the basement up the chimney
Welcome to the wild wild world
Put my pants on backwards on my first date
Never on time but always late
I tried so hard to tempt the fates
Welcome to the wild wild world
Too hazy to slide, slide, slide, slide, oh down
A slick slidin' board, slick slidin' board
Too lazy to climb (climb), climb, climb, climb
To where it takes the heart away
Like an eagle over half-moon bay
Fists went soft at the boxing bout
Scared of my shadow when I heard it shout
Messed up every opportunity
Welcome to the wild wild world
A topsy turvy kaleidoscope
All shapes and sizes dancing for hope
We got six billion people dangling on a rope
Welcome to the wild wild world
Too hazy to slide, slide, slide, slide, oh down, down, down, down
A slick slidin' board, slick slidin' board
Too lazy to climb, climb, climb
To where it takes the heart away
Like an eagle
A soaring eagle
Just like an eagle
A majestic eagle
Just like an eagle
Like an eagle over half-moon bay