When you hear that i'm a cowboy, and i work the cattle trail. You probably assume i'm big and tough (big and tough) But the trail's worn me down, i don't want to hang around I've just about had enough (had enough) You see i like a nice cup of expresso, And i like to read my people magazine I co-ordinate my chaps, but everybody laughs And say they don't like that shade of green Oh no, it's true, i'm a sensitive cowboy and i don't know what to do Oh no, it's kinda strange, i'm the last sensitive cowboy on the range Well i try to eat a healthy, balanced diet But they all eat their brown beans from the can They all have to smoke about six packs a day You'd think they was the marlboro man (*cough* smooth!) And they don't like to go to see the opera On friday nights when they get paid And they don't help me bring in the hanging plants Every time there's a native american raid (Spoken) Cowboy life sure is different these days Why brand your cattle when you can just use bovine psychology? Why have a gun fight when there are so many good para-legals out there? Nobody drinks and bush-whacks anymore And besides, we're all switching over to eating salt-reduced tofu jerky And if you're gonna ride off into the sunset, Make sure you're using an effective sun-block