There won't be any presents this Christmas No goodies in your stocking The milk and cookies that the children left out Will be left untouched beside the sink The reindeer will be staying in their pens this year The elves haven't built anything Cuz Santa got arrested last Christmas Day The Police got calls on 911 About a red-suited man who weighed a ton There was a clear trail of evidence pointing North It was the seventh time this happened on December twenty-fourth The Mounties reached the North Pole They found it was outside the jurisdiction They called up inter-polish Finnish Police To facilitate the suspect's extradition They knocked on the door of a well marked shop With a warrant for the owner's apprehension Then Santa got arrested Christmas Day Santa was charged with B&E His council advised he plee guilty There was footage of the crime running on TV And photographs of little children sitting on his knee The judge expressed concerned about the risk of recitizenism His sentence was commuted He got a bond, a non-association with the elves And his reindeer licence was suspended He says he's giving up all his former life And now he wants to be a dental assistant Cuz Santa got arrested Santa got arrested Santa got arrested last Christmas Day