I bought a ticket to Australia for my holiday Figured it'd be just the thing to wash the stress away Got my boarding pass and found out alas That I was seated in the middle row The businessman beside me smelt like Old Spice and gin The lady to the left was talking about her granchildren Two kids behind me were screaming for their mom She was screaming back, I wonder how come I got the worst seat on the plane By the time I land I'll be insane My legs are starting to go numb And I just wanna kill someone I got the worst seat on the plane Bladder's full and back's in pain Next time I have somewhere to go Think I'll ride my bicycle I couldn't go to sleep 'cause the pillow's too damn awkward So I tried to watch the movie but it starred Kevin Cosner The earphone's hurt my head and the reading light was dead And then the pilot said turbulence is on the way The coffee on my tray was now on my lap The old lady beside me had a heart attack The children screeched so loud I thought my skull would crack The businessman turned blue and threw up on my back I got the worst seat on the plane By the time I land I'll be insane My legs are starting to go numb And I just wanna kill someone I got the worst seat on the plane Bladder's full and back's in pain Next time I have somewhere to go Think i'll just rent a video After seven hours I could take no more So I tried to open the emergency door But the flight attendant tackled me to the floor She said "Go back to your seat, dear" I said "I'd rather get off here" I got the worst seat on the plane I think im now i am insane My legs are both complete numb And I wanna kill everyone I got the worst seat on the plane My Bladder burst my back in pain Next time I wonderless I'll take the bus I got the worst seat in the plane