Here we are dear old friend You and I, drunk again Laughs have been had and and tears have been shed Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head But if I were gay I would give you my heart And if I were gay You'd be my work of art And if I were gay We would swim in romance But I'm not gay So get your hand out of my pants ♪ It's not that I don't care, I do I just don't see myself in you Another time, another scene I'd be right behind you If you know what I mean 'Cause if I were gay I would give you my soul And if I were gay I would give you my whole being And if I were gay We would tear down the walls But I'm not gay So won't you stop cupping my hand ♪ We've never hugged We've never kissed I've never been intimate with your fist But you have opened brand new doors Get over here and drop your drawers