I bought a gerbil from the petting zoo If Richard Gere can do it I can too I get undressed, start to lube I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube Wondering just how he'll feel Will he like it better than his little wheel Careful now he's right beside me One more inch and he's inside me Go, gerbil go Burrow harder, burrow deeper Be my little chimney sweeper One thing I forgot about How am I supposed to get you out? So now my Gerbils on easy street It's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat The situation is beyone my control Gotta find a way to get him out of his hole I try crowbars, I try wires I almost had him with a pair of pliers I try cheese but he's not biting I wish this wasn't so exciting Go, gerbil go Jesus I am such a sucker Please get out you furry fucker I think I am getting ill Suddenly he's very very still Now it's too late My gerbil died I guess I have commited gerbicide Here's some advice It's very clear cut If you love your gerbil Don't stick him up your butt Don't stick him up your butt Little furry gerbil in your booty hole Don't stick him up and you put him in the end and he won't come out