Here we-, here we-
Here we go again!
So they're finally back, it's been a long time
They're bringing you a brand new rhyme
You loved them all in DK64
And I bet you're wonderin': "where are they now?"
Huh!
DK
Donkey Kong!
He's the leader of the bunch, you know his name
But behind the scenes, he's not the same
After DK64, he got into guns
Now he hunts endangered species just for fun
But his coconut gun, still fire in spurts
If he shoots ya, you'll probably die
He's older, meaner and wealthier too
He's the first member of the DK crew!
Huh!
DK
He loves gun!
Tiny Kong's back, so listen up dudes
She can shrink in size to suit her mood
Now, you may have heard that the bees are dying
Well, the truth about Tiny is horrifying
She's killing all the bees, she's killing all the bees!
We don't know why, but she's killing all the bees!
She can fly through the air and climb up trees
But Tiny Kong's murderer of bees!
Huh!
DK
Goodbye, bees!
He has a funny face, his limbs are long
But Lanky never felt like he belonged
He earned a degree in a college town
And decided to work as a sex ed clown
Now he has a penis puppet and a vulva puppet too
And he'll give a creepy lecture just for you
Huh!
DK
Just for you
And next up Diddy Kong hits the stage
Just like Gary Coleman, he does not age
His face is youthful like Peter Pan's
But he's a better old bastard who hates his fans
He's angry, horny, libido's wild!
But women won't date him 'cause he looks like a child
That might explain his job which you won't forget
He blogs for DiddyPepeTrumpMRA.net
Huh!
DK
He needs love!
And then there's Chunky
He's dead
Huh!
DK
Chunky's dead!
DK
Now the song is over!
Come on, Cranky, take it to the fridge!
Cranky?
Oh, man, Cranky's dead too!
Cranky's in the fridge!
Ho, oh no
Wow
That's terrible