I dreamed of a scene in an old soldier's home
The year was nineteen fifty three
With medals galore that he'd won in this war
He sat smoking peacefully
Tell me of the war of nineteen seventeen
Said his grandson who stood by his side
How did they fix up that terrible mix up?
And proudly the old man replied:
The Russians were rushin' the Prussians
The Prussians were crushin' the Russians
The Balkins were balkin' and Turkey was squawkin'
Rasputin disputtin' and Italy scootin'
The Boches all bulled Bolshevikis
The British were skittish at sea
But the good Lord I'm thankin'
The Yanks started yankin'
And yanked Kaiser Bill up a tree
My dream quickly changed to a schoolroom that day
The lesson was geography
A child raised her hand, said, "I don't understand
This map looks all wrong to me
What is this strange place that is marked Germany?"
And the teacher replied with a roar
"Why, that's an old map, dear since we had that scrap, dear
There ain't no such place anymore."
The Russians were rushin' the Prussians
The Prussians were crushin' the Russians
The good old Italians were hurling battalions
Canadians raidin' and Frenchmen invadin'
The Bulgars were bulgin' the Belgians
But Yanks started yankin' you see
And when Peace was conceded
Some new maps were needed
They ruined the geography
The Russians were rushin' the Prussians
The Prussians were crushin' the Russians
The Balkins were balkin' and Turkey was squawkin'
Rasputin disputtin' and Italy scootin'
The Boches all bulled Bolshevikis
The British were skittish at sea
But the good Lord I'm thankin'
The Yanks started yankin'
And yanked Kaiser Bill up a tree