Lost the remote, gotta change it by hand Can't find the time, fell behind on plans Ring lost in the drain Forced to buy a new one Lost the plot of the thing, gotta start at the top Can't find a handhold, fell to the ground Life in the toilet Can I buy a new one? Bought a pellet gun, purchased a mask Arrived at the bank with an empty bag Asked politely, "please, lay on your fat bellies" Waved the gun, people did what I said Handed me cash, I was on my way Someone screamed, but I said, "shhh, please don't" Then I rode my bike home Then I rode my bike home Made it through the door but my roommate saw Told him I was trying out for a role "Desperate man 1" and I think I got the part