It started as a bet The story of a life Part engineered to fit the scenery He'd loved a racist once She kept a tidy house It must have paid much better in the seventies Back then you could be gay But in a manly way He held no truck with water pistols Alternative lifestyles Were for the middle class At worst they could write poems about their misadventures No real man could envy them that Softly - suddenly She'd started as an eight Then sunk into a ten He put it down to carbon dating The daughter had his laugh But not his smokers cough It must have been the lack of tar in heroin She took herself to Wales Excelled in telesales Cold-calling deep into the evening Her second husband came And left before the Spring It must have been the season for unhappy drunks Her father had a similar trigger Softly - suddenly I gratefully accept this blackeye, no one knows as well as me The value of consequences Do to others as you would have done to you especially if in doing so You find new takers