He got married for protection She got married for the wine They committed to the role reversal With all the passion they could find They decided on a story One to settle with the gaps It developed into half a legend As the gossip was applied She is witchhazel and blue bubblegum And she needs a friend more than he needs her She gets passed around in the cheaper straits She gets passed around in pregnant stories He got married for direction She got married for the cause They agreed to find a compromise which Somehow didn't suit them both He got lost among her stories Some of which were nearly true She depended on his full attention He depended on the time She needs oxygen for her favorite love And she tends to smoke more than give it up She gets passed around in the air tonight She gets passed around in pregnant stories Halfway to the hospital, Matthew put his clothes on He didn't want to be that guy who shows up with his balls out Drinking from an empty can and bleeding on the nurses He rushed into the parking lot and fell beneath an ambulance "Help me, I didn't want my own life!" He screamed at anybody who could hear, "But I definitely didn't want to change so much That the angels in the mirror couldn't recognize me" He was saved by the kindly paramedic Who wiped him down and pulled him to his feet But now he knows the truth about his former life She'll be passed around at parties in his sleep