This is a song called confessions in three movements
And the first movement
The first confession
Is entitled
Feminism
♪
I believe that women have the right
To walk the streets at night
And not be afraid for their lives
And I believe a woman has the right
To choose what happens to her body
Without suffering the judgment
Of the conservative right
And I believe a woman has the right
To wear the clothes she likes
Without being treated like dirt
And I think we men are pathetic
How we seem to judge aesthetic
As the measure of a woman's worth
I'm ashamed on behalf of my sex
For making women feel like objects
Fuck, I love boobs though
I just really love them
Fuck, I love boobs though
I just want to rub them
They're just so jooby
They make me feel groovy
I would rather watch boobs than a movie
Ba doop-e-do
I just really love boobs
The second movement is called poverty
Open bracket, altruism
♪
Closed bracket
I believe the people are entitled to basic human rights
Whether they're rich or they're poor
And I believe a world where no children are starving
Is a world worth fighting for
And I try to remind myself, even when I'm struggling
How incredibly lucky I am
And I don't think it's okay
That the luxuries I crave
Should come at the expense of my fellow men
I'm sure I could do a little more
To alleviate the suffering of the poor
Fuck, I love boobs though
I just really love them
I don't really mind
If I am behind, below or above them
They're just so jubbly
They make me feel lovely
I would rather own boobs than a pub
Ba doop-e-do
I just really love
Boobs
♪
This third movement is entitled
Environmentalist
I believe the planet that we live in
Is a living organism
And we must treat her carefully
I don't think we should assume
We can go on consumin'
Her resources indefinitely
The world's not a bottomless pit
And we can all do our little bit
Fuck, I love boobs though
I just really care for 'em
They are equally fun
When they're twenty-one
Or octegenarian
They're just so flappy
They make me feel happy
I would rather eat boobs than a bap
Ba doop-e-doop de do
I just really love boobs
Evolutionary theory says bosoms
Are buttocks like protrusions
Designed to tempt men in situations
When they can't get a glimpse of your bum
I find such hypotheses dumb
It's like the one that says
Lipstick is for making your lips look more
Like the lips of a happy vagina
Since they said that I can't
Look my great aunt in the eye
Why'd they have to say that, oh why?
♪
From the first little suck of colostrum
To the grope of the nurse in the old people's hostel
We're just fucking monkeys in shoes
And I will always love boobs
I will always love boobs