A baby, Mrs Wormwood. A child. The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. A brand new human being! A life. A person. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder!
Oh, bloody hell!
Every life I bring into this world
Restores my faith in human kind
Push, Mrs Wormwood, push!
I'll push you in a minute!
Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted
This still, unbroken skin
This uncorrupted mind
Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely
The chances of existence almost infinitely small
The most common thing in life is life . .
And yet every single life
Every new life
Is a miracle!
Miracle!
Where is he? Where's my son?
Mr Wormwood! Are you smoking a cigarette?
What? Oh, of course. I'm sorry, doctor. What am I thinking?
This calls for a proper smoke.
Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing
This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen
Oh, my good Lord. Where's his fingie?
His what?
His fingie. His whatchamacallit.
His doo-dah. What've you done with his fingie?
This child doesn't have a "thingie" –
What? A boy with no fingie?
Look what you've done, you stupid woman.
This boy's got no fingie
Mr Wormwood! This child is a girl. A beautiful, beautiful little girl
Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage
Dance competition's over. You missed it. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we?
This is the worst day of my life!