RADIO: Who is that (who is that) Emerging from his burrow? Who can see today what we won't see until tomorrow Shaman of the shadows, springer of the spring RADIO - MALE: Springer of the spring, Come on! RADIO - MALE & FEMALE HOSTS: Is it a squirrel? Is it a beaver? Kinda both but not quite either RADIO - MALE: That's right woodchuck-chuckers it's Groundhog Day We're live from Gobblers Knob talking about everything Weather PHIL: Idiots, playing yesterday's tape RADIO - FEMALE: Totally wacky! PHIL: There's nothing more depressing than- RADIO - FEMALE: I mean what could be crazier than groundhogs in February RADIO - MALE: By the way, that's a great hat you're wearing RADIO - FEMALE: Thanks, I made it myself PHONE: Good morning, this is your wakeup call PHIL: I didn't set a wakeup c- PHONE:Happy Groundhog Day! PHIL:Happy Groundhog- how many days is this holiday? RADIO - FEMALE: Oh, I'm no good at science RADIO - MALE: You know, You lose 80% of your body heat through your head! PHIL: Bla bla bla bla-bla-bla-bla-blah, you're so fired RADIO - FEMALE:Punxatawny High! RADIO - FEMALE & MALE: Gooooo Chucks! PHIL (MOCKINGLY): Go Penn Staate! RADIO - FEMALE: I'm still hungover PHIL:God-damn amateurs RADIO - MALE: And now the question on everyone's lips- RADIO - FEMALE [& PHIL]: Chapped lips! RADIO - MALE: Do you think Phil will see his shadow? PHIL: Yes he did RADIO - MALE: What's your prediction? PHIL: I predict your unmployment There's nothing more depressing than small towns... tiny minds... RADIO -???: *Squeaky noise* PHIL: I'll tell Larry to take the 210 via Bayer and Keystone lake If we hurry, I'll be drinking decent coffee by 9 or even half past 8 And never again will I wake in the morning in Puuuuunx- Punxatawney! Ba-da-bap-bap-ba-da- PHIL: Suck my balls I'm out! Punxatawney, Pennsylvania, USA! PHIL: Okay One I'm still sleeping and this, I'm just dreaming it Two it's a prank and everyone's in on it Three it's a flashback from when I was twenty and ate magic mushrooms And thought I was *Aquaman* Four it's some kind of reality show about Forecasters, bad bed-and-breakfasts, and, snow Five I've had a stroke and lost my Memory of the year since last Groundhog Day Come on Phil wake up, get it together, It must be the weather it must be the stress! I just need a moment I just need a rest! Punxsutawney, It's a little town with a heart as big as any town, as any small town In the USA and there is no town greater Than Punxsutawney on Groundhog, Groundhog, Groundhog Who is that (who is that?) Emerging from his burrow Who can see today what we won't see until tomorrow Shaman of the shadows, springer of the spring Is it a squirrel? Is it a beaver? PRESIDENT OF THE INNER CIRCLE: Kinda both but not quite either All the meteorologists the world has ever known Cannot match this little guy's uncanny skill We can guess but we won't know if we should dress for sun or snow Until we hear it from old Punxsutawney Phil PHIL:I'm going back to bed! RITA: February second, first remote broadcast GHD in Punx, PA Working with Phil Connors They all told me he would be an asshole ... and he is I mean, he acts kinda asshole-ish, still I think he might be... mentally ill Tomorrow spring will come (spring will come) There will be blue skies my friend Bright eyes and laughter Tomorrow there will be sun (there will be sun) But if not tomorrow perhaps the day after RITA: Unexpected weather Seems we're staying here for another night Which is, kind of fine