Don't wanna be in your club if you take me as a member
I'm not even slightly interested in whether I remembered
I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Get me a tombstone if you feel you must
Saying, "Here lies the clown who wrote some songs
He talked too much and stayed too long"
Back home in Perth I played piano down in Cafe Piazza
Swallowing second and smoking singing standards by the masters
Learned that every lyric's sacred
That love's everything
And that three drinks makes you straighten up
And four gets you swingin'
'Til my crowds scared the suits away and I play my own songs
And then we talk too much and stay too long
(Talk too much and stay too long)
Moved to Melbourne with my missus after locking her down
Felt like a very little fishy in a very big town
Barely scraping by on corporate gigs and quaint cabaret
Playing keyboards in a cover band until three in the a.m.
I was never really suited to them top 40 songs
'Cause I talk too much and play too long
Don't wanna be in your club if you take me as a member
I'm not even slightly interested in whether I remembered
I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Get me a tombstone if you feel you must
Saying, "Here lies the clown who wrote some songs
He talked too much and stayed too long"
Took my Alana to Edinburgh in 2005
Played to 45 paying punters on the opening night
But to my surprise I was in rising demand
For a lovechild of Liberace and Edward Scissorhands
Dude from the papers said that digging me was wrong
He said I talked too much and stayed too long
I've played to Albert Hall and Wembley, I've played basements and bars
I've been to Hollywood and Broadway, met those A-lister stars
I've shared cigarettes with knights and shot tequila with dames
Found I'm more interested in laughter than with hardness and fame
So long as you've got irony honey we'll get along
We can talk too much and stay way, way too long
Don't wanna be in your club if you take me as a member
I'm not even slightly interested in whether I remembered
I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Get me a tombstone if you feel you must
Saying, "Here lies the clown who wrote some songs
You know he talked too much and stayed too long
You know he talked too much and stayed too long"
♪
I've been threatened with death and arrested with hell
I went hard at a cardinal who was feeling unwell
I had them dogwhistling whiners send their dogs after me
I've been a bigot and a faggot, I've been smug and ugly
I'm a long-haired lefty joker and a smoker of bongs
And I've talked too much and stayed too long
But fuck that live fast die young shit, I plan on getting rickety
Baby I intend to stick around until all you pricks are sick of me
And when they come to wash my old man balls and feed me mashed banana
They'll find me in the corner of the room playing blues on the piano
Same old three chords and clichéd fuckin' runs
And I'll talk too much and stay too long
And I'll talk too much
Don't wanna be in your club if you take me as a member
I'm not even slightly interested in whether I remembered
I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Get me a tombstone baby if you feel you must
Saying, "Here lies the clown who wrote some songs
You know he talked too much and stayed too long
You know he talked too much and stayed too long"
By the way motherfucker rambling on
He talked too much and stayed too long