I was waiting at the Pearly Gates But the angels said "It's members only, mate" St. Peter was shepherding in the meek But all he said to me was "Schoolies Week." Lucifer's got issues with Paradise So he blocked the view with miles of high-rise Car yards far as the eye can see And a million teens who think they're free In Hell it's always Devil don't need fire and brimstone His place is full of kids with mobile phones You still hear weeping and gnashing teeth But that's just bad E and too much lemon Ruski Monday!! - Binge drinking Tuesday!! - The world owes you a living Wednesday!! - Everyone calls you "man" Thursday!! - Every car's a Divvy Van Friday!! - One big Desperate Dateless Ball Saturday!! - Sorted for Rohipnol Sunday!! - Wake up with vomit breath Monday!! - Back to the start again So you better pray you haven't been bad Or you could wake up in a "Say No To Drugs" ad Devil rubs his hands in glee And in a booming voice shouts: "Fluffy Ducks are on me!"