My dear Mr. Latimer
Prepare to greet out clientele
Our meeting is imminent
Our having just rung the dinner bell
It won't be a novelty
We mostly have seen them all before
Prepare for the usual
You should be aware of what's in store
We've served them on the Baltic
And the Oceanic
Olympic and Majestic
And today's the same
There's nothing changed
Mr. Astor takes his toast dry
Mrs. Straus likes the grouse
With the sauce on the side
And the Wideners love Kidney pie
Bring it hot, if it's not
They'll be fit to be tied
They're accustomed to the best
Of all that money buys
The world of free enterprise
Has given this privilege to the rich
When they're idle
They're entitled to the luxury
Which we provide
That's forever the source of our pride
Which is why we're always there
With our especial form of care
For evey hungry millionaire
By now they've all arrived
We're sailing aboard the greatest ship
That ever sail the seas
The hull and the keel imperviously
Stronger by degrees
Magnificent crystal chandeliers
Parquet in all the floors
The ceiling is Jacobean
A decor the world adores
Remarkable ship (oh, what a ship)
Remarkable keel (oh, what a keel)
Remarkable steel (oh, what a ship)
If it could be put in a phrase, it's
"What a remarkable age this is"
A fellow's invented see-through film
He calls it "cellophane!"
Another has built a parachute
For jumping out of an airplane
Remarkable things flow endlessly
From out the human brain
Indeed
And what a remarkable age this is
Keep the Captain's table pristine
Here we seat the elite whom we happily serve
Here they dine on fine French cuisine
It's the Creme de la Creme's
Exclusive preserve
It's the pleasure of the leisure class's greatest wits
To be where the Captain sits
When taking their dinner on the sea
Giving deference to their preferences is our chief art
We play our part
In a perfectly working machine
You should ever be aware
This is a privilege great and rare
A special burden that we bear
In our respective lives
Remarkable U.S. Steel
Is splitting shares a five to four
Monopoly makes the industry
Far better than before
Attending the coronation of
King George the Fifth was grand
And afterwards it's off to Monaco
To frolic in the sand
Remarkable talk (oh, what a talk)
Remarkable times (oh. what a time)
Remarkable world (oh, what a world)
So much to surprise and amaze
And what a remarkable time
What a remarkable world
What a remarkable age
The hull and the keel
Impervious
Magnificent crystal
Chandeliers
A fellow's invented see-through film
And what a remarkable age
This is...