I drove my saracen up your anti your last night
I kicked your door in at the break of daylight
I get this feeling that you're avoiding me
And when I catch you, you're going for your tea
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a frilly flapjack and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hands
We are the British army, and we're here to take your land
My friend William, he's in the RUC
He's in my saracen and he's snuggled up close to me
He says he's feeling so very very sore
Those rocket launchers never miss them anymore
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a frilly flapjack and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hands
We are the British army, and we're here to take your land
My friend Simon, he's in the RIR
He travels everywhere, searching near and far
He won't go near old Armagh, no bloody fear
The only guns you'll find there is an ArmaLite in your ear
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a frilly flapjack and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hands
We are the British army, and we're here to take your land
My friend Clyde, he's in the SAS
He said a change was as good as a rest
But then they went and posted him, way down in Crossmaglen
He's praying to God to be in Wormwood Scrubs again
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a frilly flapjack and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hands
We are the British army, and we're here to take your land