A man's got a heart
Hasn't he?
Joking apart
Hasn't he?
And though I'd be the first one to say that I wasn't a saint
I'm finding it hard to be really as black as they paint
I'm reviewing the situation
Can a fella be a villain all his life?
All the trials!
And tribulations!
Better settle down and get myself a wife!
And a wife would cook, and sew for me
And come for me and go for me
And go for me and nag at me
The fingers she will wag at me!
The money she will take from me
A misery she'll make from me!
I think I'd better think it out again!
A wife you can keep, anyway
I'd rather sleep, anyway
Live without anyone in the world, and I'm starting from now!
So, how to win friends and to influence people
So how?
I'm reviewing the situation
I must quickly look up everyone I know
Titled people with a station!
Who will help me make a real impressive show!
I will own a suite of claridges
And run a fleet of carriages
And wave at all the duchesses, with friendliness
As much as is befitting of my new estate
"Good morrow to you, magistrate!"
Oh, gawd!
I think I'd better think it out again!
So where shall I go?
Somebody?
Who do I know?
Nobody!
All my dearest companions have always been villains and thieves
So at my time of life I should start turning over new leaves?
I'm reviewing the situation
If you want to eat, you've got to earn a bob!
Is it such a humiliation for a robber to perform an honest job?
So a job I'm getting, possibly
I wonder who my boss'll be?
I wonder if he'll take to me?
What bonuses he'll make to me?
I'll start at eight and finish late
At normal rate and all, but wait!
I think I'd better think it out again!
What happens when I'm 70?
Must come a time, 70
When you're old, and it's cold
And who cares if you live or you die?
Your one consolation's the money you may have to put by
I'm reviewing the situation
I'm a bad 'un, and a bad 'un I shall stay!
You'll be seeing no transformation
But it's wrong to be a rogue in every way!
I don't want nobody hurt for me, or made to do the dirt for me
This rotten life is not for me, it's getting far too hot for me
Don't want no one to rob for me
But who will find a job for me?
There is no in-between for me
But who will change the scene for me?
Ow!
I beg I better think it out again, uh!