Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and sinners all!
I call upon our Goddess of the Virtues
To give us her well known rendition of the old school song: Oom-Pah-Pah!
Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright
There's a little ditty
They're singing in the city
Specially when they've been on the gin or the beer
If you've got the patience
Your own imaginations
Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear...
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That's how it goes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev'ryone knows
They all suppose what they want to suppose
When they hear... oom-pah-pah!!
Mister Percy Snodgrass
Would often have the odd glass
But never when he thought anybody could see
Secretly he'd buy it
And drink it on the quiet
And dream he was an Earl
Wiv a girl on each knee!
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That's how it goes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev'ryone knows...
What is the cause of his red shiny nose?
Could it be... oom-pah-pah!?
Pretty little Sally
Goes walking down the alley
Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men
They could see her garters
But not for free-and-gratis
An inch or two, and then she knows
When to say when!
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That's how it goes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev'ryone knows...
Whether it's hidden, or whether it shows
It's the same... oom-pah-pah!
She was from the country
But now she's up a gum-tree
She let a feller feed 'er, then lead 'er along
What's the use o' cryin'?
She's made a bed to lie in
She's glad to bring the coin in
And join in this song!
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That's how it goes!
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev'ryone knows
She is no longer the same blushing rose
Ever since oom-pah-pah!
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That's how it goes!
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev'ryone knows
They all suppose what they want to suppose
When they hear... oom-pah-pah!!