What in all of heaven could have prompter her to go
After such a triumph at the ball?
What could have depressed her?
What could have possesed her?
I can't understand the wretch at all
♪
Women are irrational
That's all there is to that
Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vasilating
Calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags
♪
Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?
I beg your pardon?
Yes, why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest so thoroughly square
Eternally noble, historically fair
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat
Why can't a woman be like that?
Why does every one do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up, well like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please
Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
Of course not!
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
Nonsense
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
Never!
Why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million might shout a bit
Now and then as one with slight defects
One perhaps who truths will make you doubt a bit
But by and large we are a marvelous sex
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so friendly, good natured and kind
A better companion, you never will find
If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow?
Of course not!
If I forgot your silly birthday would you fuss?
Nonsense!
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
Never!
Why can't a woman be like us?
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps
Ready to help you through any mishaps
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Wise thinking is something women never do
Wise logic, never even tried
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do
Why don't the straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If was a woman, who'd been to a ball
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing
Or carry on as if my home were in a tree
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman, be like me?