Higgins, forgive the bluntness, but if I'm to be in this business, I shall be a responsible for the girl
Are you a man of good character where women are comcerned?
Have you ever met a man of good character where women are comcerned? Well, I haven't
I find the moment that a woman makes friends with me, she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious and a damn nuisance
And I find that the moment I make friends with a woman, I become selfish and tyrannical
So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so
Well after all, Pickering
I'm an ordinary man
Who desires nothing more
Than just an ordinary chance to live exactly as he likes
And do precisely what he wants
An average man am I, of no eccentric whim
Who likes to live his life, free of strife
Doing whatever he thinks is best, for him
Well, just an ordinary man
But, let a woman in your life
And your serenity is through
She'll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome
Then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you
Let a woman in your life
And you're up against a wall
Make a plan and you will find
She has something else in mind
And so rather than do either
You do something else that neither likes at all
You want to talk of Keats or Milton
She only wants to talk of love
You go to see a play or ballet
And spend it searching for her glove
Let a woman in your life
And you invite eternal strife
Let them buy their wedding bands
For those anxious little hands
I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling
Than to ever let a woman in my life
I'm a very gentle man
Even tempered and good natured
Whom you never hear complain
Who has the milk of human kindness
By the quart in every vein
A patient man am I, down to my fingertips
The sort who never could, ever would
Let an insulting remark escape his lips
Very gentle man
But, let a woman in your life
And patience hasn't got a chance
She will beg you for advice, your reply will be concise
And she'll will listen very nicely
Then go out and do precisely what she wants
You are a man of grace and polish
Who never spoke above a hush
Now all at once you're using language
That would make a sailor blush
Let a woman in your life
And you're plunging in a knife
Let the others of my sex
Tie the knot around their necks
I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition
Than to ever let a woman in my life
I'm a quiet living man
Who prefers to spend the evenings
In the silence of his room
Who likes an atmosphere as restful
As an undiscovered tomb
A pensive man am I, of philosophic joys
Who likes to meditate, contemplate
Free from humanity's mad inhuman noise
Quiet living man
But, let a woman in your life
And your sabbatical is through
In a line that never ends come an army of her friends
Come to jabber and to chatter
And to tell her what the matter is with you
She'll have a booming boisterous family
Who will descend on you en mass
She'll have a large Wagnerian mother
With a voice that shatters glass
Let a woman in your life
Let a woman in your life
♪
I shall never let a woman in my life