With my wings resolutely spread, Mrs. Burnside And my old inhibitions shed, Mrs. Burnside I did each little thing you said, Mrs. Burnside I lived! I lived! I lived! I altered the drape of A drop of my bodice And softened the shape of my brow I followed directions And made some connections But what do I do now? Who'd think this Miss Prim would Have opened a window As far as her whim would allow? And who would suppose it Was so hard to close it? Oh, what do I do now? I polished and powdered and puffed myself If life is a banquet I stuffed myself I had my misgivings But went on a field trip To find out what living's about My thanks for your training Now I'm not complaining But you left something out! Instead of wand'ring on With my lone remorse I have come back home To complete the course Oh, what do I do Mrs. Burnside? I traveled to hell in my new veneer And look what I got as a souvenir But still, I'll defend you As guide and instructor Would I recommend you and how? Although I was leery I thrived on your theory That life can be a wow! You said there's nothing wrong With a harmless smooch So I'm gonna call him Burnside Gooch Oh, what do I do now?