Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money, where the poor get snubbed
The spread is bland: sauerkraut and boiled goose
There's no way these people will ever cut loose
But then I walk in the room, hold my boombox high
And what happened next will blow your mind...
Everything got out of control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old, white people dancing
Now picture, if you will, a bunch of businessmen
Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen
The ties around their necks are like a hangman's noose
In the middle of the table there's a boiled goose
The old people smell makes you wanna puke in the sink
These dudes'll never dance, yeah, that's what you think!
I stride in the room, all young and hip
Hold up my boombox, and say, "Listen to this"
Then everyone started to move
People rejoiced, instead of financing
Your preconceived notions were shattered
By the super-old white people dancing
The Big Apple, where people never dance
Spirits go down while profits expand
The cops or the dealers, who's got the juice?
The street vendors peddling their boiled goose
So many types of people, they'll never get along
'Til I bust out my boombox and play this song!
The music washed away all their hate
And society started advancing
Every demographic was represented
It was a Rainbow Coalition of dancing
Whoa-oh-oh
Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
Whoa-oh-oh
I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman
Transport now to an old folks' home
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones
The orderlies are stealing – there's no excuse!
Every day for lunch they eat boiled goose
So I grab my boombox and hit the turbo bass
And what happened next was a total disgrace
Everybody started having sex!
The music was way too powerful!
A bunch of old people fucking like rabbits!
It was disgusting, to say the least
A boombox can change the world
But you gotta know your limits with a boombox
And this was a cautionary tale
A BOOM BOX IS NOT A TOY!