I can't help lying to my family about my faith
It'd break their hearts to know I don't care if I'm saved
But old habits die hard and I still half-believe
That everyone that's died is basically asleep
And I can't listen to my favorite songs anymore
I try to write a song as good, but come up short
And I'm in love with someone I may never know
So I'll try hard to love somebody else and never let that show
I'm tryna focus through the morphine
I feel the feeling slip away
I'm serious, but they're all laughing
And now my guts are on display
I'm finding solace in the temporary pain
Convince myself that every misstep keeps me sane
I may not text you back, but I still send my love
I learned that all from higher powers up above
I'm tryna fight off all this morphine
I'm way too high to try to change
It wasn't them, but me who's laughing
I'm all alone inside this cage
The coffee's out so the nurse brought me lemonade
I'm scared to death because they taste the same
Hospital lights flicker like signaling last call
I feel nothing but the end of it all
I think they gave me too much morphine
And I don't wanna go this way
I didn't think that it'd take dying
To finally feel like I'm okay
At least I feel like I'm okay