Sits on his milk crate all day long From morning until night he sings his song To the ladies passing by Outside of Zum Zum Zum Zum Zum Zum Zum restaurant Oooh... "Scumbag" He used to be a famous actor The pretty Broadway butterflies would flutter to his Dressing room at night Til one sad day a monarch Flew through his window and broke his heart. Zum Zum finds him there at nine o'clock And perfect ladies scream a perfect shock ["oh my"] At five his workday through he rides a crosstown bus His milk crate abides Til morn when he returns to greet the ladies ["hey ladies"] "Scumbag" Sits on his milk crate all day long From morning until night he sings his song To the ladies passing by Outside of Zum Zum Zum Zum Zum Zum Zum restaurant Oooh... Zum Zum finds him there at nine o'clock And perfect ladies scream a perfect shock ["oh my"] At five his workday through he rides a crosstown bus To God knows where And nobody tells him what to do I'd like to live like that now, wouldn't you?