Now here's a little story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
It was a Saturday,
And I was walking 'round town,
The sky was black and blue as the rain fell down,
I was bored, there was nothing to do,
Nay a byore to gape at,
Not a bag of glue, So I sat down,
Picked up a couple of screws,
And I flicked 'em at a car and looked at my shoes,
They were dirty, I'd say at about 2: 30,
On my watch, and there's lots of spots on my crotch,
So, I look across the road and what do I see,
It's Willie O'Dea, he's walking over to me,
Man, Willie O'Dea, what can you do for me?
Are you going to give me hash? Are you the Minister for gee?
Ah, man, I think he's going to talk to me,
Well, I am pure bored, I think I'll listen and see,
My name, is Willie O'Dea,
And you're in my constituency,
(You're in my constituency)
Ah, Mr. O'Dea, man you are embarrassing me,
'Cause you're singing at me in the street and I'm trying to kick it like a gee,
Fuck off,
Just fuck off and let me be,
'Cause I've never even voted for no one or nothing y'see,
I know your father,
My father's dead,
I know your father,
(Oooh),
And I can change your life,
How?
I need your vote,
No, tell me how—
Give me your vote,
Fuck off,
And I can change your life,
Willie, how're you going to change my life?
The fuck you know about my troubles and my struggles and strife,
I couldn't give a shit if you're the Body of Christ,
Man, I want to go home,
My socks are soggy and moist,
Hold on a minute, I can get you new socks,
Give me the money and I'll get you new jocks,
Poor old Willie, Willie O'Me,
If they put me in a dock then I'll never be free,
(Oooh),
What do you mean, Willie, what've you done?
(Ooooh),
[Blind Boy
Are you in trouble?
Tell me Willie, what's wrong?
My name is Willie O'Dea,
They're hanging me for perjury,
Willie, man, what can I do?
That's a terrible fate that's been handed to you,
Is there any hope? Should I consult the Pope?
Maybe he can keep you from the hangman's rope,
Then I haven't got a job, I haven't got a bob,
I'm merely drawing the dole and pulling my knob,
Only you can set me free,
So buy this lump of hash off me,
What, Willie, you're selling hash?
Yah,
It's decent hash, It's decent hash, I swear on my 'tashe
It's decent hash, it's decent hash, it's decent hash,
I swear on my 'tashe it's decent hash,
{Guitar instrumental}
Mr. O'Dea, I'd love some hash,
But I'm flat broke too, I got no cash,
I got super-glue and a bollock rash,
And don't be flaunting your fancy knacker 'tashe,
Get out of my face with your snake-y eyes,
Your pants is in flames with all of your lies,
You're wasting your time, selling smelly sock,
To a man who can't afford to take a piss in a pot,
I'll give you free hash if you do me a favour,
What, really, yah?
Yah,
Alright so, go on, what d'you want me to do?
Go up to Dublin and throw eggs at the Dáil,
It's all their fault, because the recession's over,
Wait, wait, so alright, so if I go up to Dublin and throw eggs at Dáil Éireann, you'll give me free hash?
I promise,
Really? Alright so,
Yah,
It's like this:
Stall the ball, Pope John Paul, Let's all go and egg the Dáil,