Damn, the dickhead blues When your time becomes somebody else's refuge Damn, the dickhead blues Make a vacation outta you Damn, the dickhead blues When you're stuck sinking in someone else's lagoon Like a spoon drowns in a stew What kind of meal are they making of you? Thinking Cupid calls for you End up gum on someone's shoe Makes me feel like I don't have a clue My dilemma is always a dickhead who's drunk on the daily news Like coyotes in culottes clawin' for coffee in open-toed shoes I'm no longer amused by losers who find themselves losing me That's why I choose I'm not as worthless as I once thought I am pretty top-notch I am pretty top-notch I am pretty top-notch I'm useful Damn, the dickhead blues When you're feeling as broke as a bottle of booze Damn, the dickhead blues Like a soda straw strangling you Thinking Cupid calls for you End up gum on someone's shoe Makes me feel like I don't have a clue If I had a heart, if I had a heart If I had a heart, if I had a heart I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start If I had a heart, if I had a heart If I had a heart, if I had a heart I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start If I had a heart, if I had a heart If I had a heart, if I had a heart I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start I'd know where to start (where to start, I'd know where to start) (If I) if I had a heart, if I had a heart (I) If I had a heart, if I had a heart (if I had) I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start (I) if I, if I, ah, if I, yeah Ah-ah-ah (had a heart, had a heart) Oh (where to start, where to start) (Where to start, where to start) you know, if I had ♪ I'm not as worthless as I once thought I am pretty top-notch I am pretty top-notch I am pretty top-notch I'm useful