First on our famous tour
This broken board we're driving toward
I swore
This paint
Had dried
Feel free to see our sewer
It's flimsy grate can't hold much weight
But seals
The eels
Inside!
Don't let
This wet
And slimy net
Of cobweb attach onto your face!
Beware!
These stairs
Are terribly tilted
And built in the wrong place!
"Oh shucks, the engine's dead,
I guess today this will have to be an walking tour"
Stay close and watch your feet
Cause something might attempt
To bite them off.
It's awfully rare...
Try not to breath too deep
Cause something stinky
Black and inky's
Foggin up the air!
Our old
Commode's
Known to explode!
I think all the sinks are prone to leak.
And so
You know
Our CEO
Was murdered here
Last week!
"Hahaha, I'm just messing with you
He got killed ages ago.
Huh, thats weird, elevators it's out of order
Looks like we'll have to take this dark creepy long way around"
Look to the left and see
The broken beam our legal team
Demands
Be banned
From view!
Steer clear of loose debris!
The wood's so old,
It's mostly mold
I'm told
It holds
Like new!
Don't sweat
The threat
Of traps we've set
For man-eating vermin in our halls!
Excuse
The ooze
That's fuse to the rafters
And plastered to the walls.
Be careful as you pass
This mound of broken glass!
Don't meddle with this pedal
It'll expel toxic gas!
I'm legally required
To warm you that this wire
Can hold 3000 volts
And light your private parts on fire!
I'm sure you're all aware
Don't stick your face in there
The ratchet may just catch it
And then tear out all your hair
That's why we had you sign
This line here to decline
All rights to litigation
And, or damages and fines
This here's the Lost and Found
Where gloves and hats and giant bats
Are kept
Except
The bats
Don't mind the grinding sound
The soup cans crashed our trash compactor and
It's jammed
With rats!
Ignore this poorly
Programmed door
The gift shop awaits us just inside!
I'll admit
A bit
Of doubt that we'd make it
Cause every group I've had
Has died!