Granny and Grandpa,
Won't you go away?
Please find somewhere else
To spend your holiday!
Granny looks livid;
Grandpa's got his cane!
Now my Christmas spirit's
Going down the drain!
Nowhere is safe to hide...
Maybe I could jack their ride...
Where do we keep spare fuel?
Why does it smell like stool-
If I want to outrun Granny,
There's a couple things I need,
Like a taser and some ammo
And a shotgun, yes indeed!
All the doors are super squeaky
And the floors are creaky, too!
So I'd best be extra sneaky
Or else- "I SEE YOU!"
Granny is lurking...
Grandpa, where you at?
Granny's gonna kill me with
A baseball bat!
Into the closet!
Better hold my breath...
Something stinks to heaven
Like Depends and death...
Just three more things to find...
Nothing to hide behind!
Moving so silently...
This may end violently...
There's no chance of me escaping
If I can't repair this car.
But its pieces are all missing
And I don't know where they are...
Grandpa's shambling through the pantry
And I know just what he'll do:
First he'll trap me and start screaming
At me- "I SEE YOU!"
"I SEE YOU!"
"I... SEE... YOU!"
Grandpa's unconscious-
That's all right with me!
Hope he isn't angry
That I took his key!
Where is the spark plug?
What's it even do?
Maybe I should call an Uber...
"I SEE YOU!"
One fewer foe at least-
Grandpa's a straight-up beast!
Where did my shotgun go?
Odds of survival: Low!
I hear Granny's soggy footsteps
And the thump of Grandpa's boots.
I smell Granny's rotten perfume
And the funk of Grandpa's toots...
If I do not find the spark plug,
Then I can't escape this house.
I'll get beat to death by Granny
And her evil, undead spouse!
Then they'll cook me and they'll eat me,
Or they'll feed me to their child,
Or the pets and hungry monsters
In their basement running wild!
If this turns the engine over,
Then I'll bid them both adieu!
Sayonara! Smell you later!
Say Goodbye, cause I see you!