I wanna
High five
I wanna
High five
I really want (I wanna)
A high five (high five)
And if you give me one (I wanna)
I'll put my hand down (high five)
But if you don't give me (I wanna)
A high five (high five)
Then I'll leave my hand up (I wanna)
And cause a fuckin' scene
Cryin' grown man at your sister's birthday
Everybody askin'
"Who brought that guy?"
I'mma get weird and ruin your life
If you don't give me five and make it, make it high
Down low; too slow
Oh no
I just offered your nephew blow
Stepped on shit, talkin' mostly speed
And I'mma tell everyone you sold it to me
I really want (I wanna)
A high five (high five)
And if you give me one (I wanna)
I'll put my hand down
I've met your family (I wanna)
I know your home address (high five)
You better slap a brother's metacarpus
Otherwise I promise consequences
Heel toe
Heel toe
Welcome to the friggin' pain rodeo
I hope you brought your fightin' chaps
'Cause I'm about to get you slapped
Aaa-eee-aaa-eee-aaa
What's that sound?
Could it be me buying everyone a round of Fireball
But then drinking them all
And then telling your girlfriend that you're cheating on her with me?
Someone pissed in all of your indoor houseplants
Ah, who could that be?
Somebody organized a threesome with your parents
Ooh, I'm a little bit naughty!
Someone constructed an apiary in your bathroom
Thirteen thousand bees!
Someone hacked your Twitter account
And now you're following Jeffrey Epstein
Does your employer know
That you starred in a TV show called
"Michael Once Admitted to Me That He Had Sex on His Boss's Desk"?
And yes, that show exists
But I guess that you just missed
That I constantly film you for an occasion just like this
An occasion just like this
Ruined because you're being a dick
You'll damage our friendship; you'll break up the band
If you don't slap my hand!
I really want (I wanna)
A high five (high five)
And if you give me one (I wanna)
I will stop ruining your life
I don't know how it started (I wanna)
But this is how it ends (high five)
If you just slap my hand (I wanna)
We go back to best friends