He thinks he's Oscar Wilde, but he's Paul Linde Can't say anything good about anything He flips his cigarette with disdain You've failed to live up to his standards again He's a negative queen, he's a negative queen He reads all the latest magazines He's quick to follow, but thinks he's in the lead He was there and you weren't You're out of it, you're not current He's a negative queen, he's a negative queen He drips disdain, he's lacking tact He's popular in a scene Where being nice is a radical act Everything's got to be just so If it's not, he'll let you know Don't put up posters on Castro Street He'll rip them down so he can shop in peace He's a negative queen, he's a negative queen He struts into a bar with swagger Stumbles out later with a stagger Spent half his life in a bar Now he looks so haggard No sympathy for a braggart Everything's got to be just so If it's not, he'll let you know "Darling, you simply haven't lived" Unless you've lived like him He's a negative queen, he's a negative queen