All my friends are happy and healthy and well-adjusted So when Chris took shots of vodka, he looked disgusted (oh, he looked) And that's why Blake's at UPS and Logan busses, oh Oh, all my friends are happy and healthy and well-adjusted (Fuckin' A) I watch Naruto on my ex-girlfriend's Netflix When I have casual sex, I wear my grandma's necklace Another notch on my belt, cross off my father's checklist I don't wake up at all, I just eat my breakfast What the fuck do you think? Way too loud You're playing the base, the pool water is vibrating You guys made fun of my fucking wife It's not cool All my friends are happy and healthy and well-adjusted Look how Ryan's full-time offer was interrupted And I know Taylor dated Matt, we don't discuss it She don't owe me a thing Oh, all my friends are happy and healthy and well-adjusted So can you tell me why I watch Naruto on my ex-girlfriend's Netflix? When I have casual sex, I wear my grandma's necklace Another notch on my belt, cross off my father's checklist I don't wake up at all, I just eat my breakfast All my friends are happy and healthy and well-adjusted