I always tried to be a good guy
The "yes ma'am, no ma'am" kind
But I got rage that nobody knows but me
34 ain't what I pictured
I fake a smile and say I'm grateful
But sometime no
I'm pissed and I'm tired and I'm alone
Maybe I should learn to finally let go
I've been chasing dreams since 14
Fueled by nicotine and caffeine
And a hole in my heart that I can't seem to heal
Maybe it's because I hate sitting still
But I've been tryin'
Maybe I should slow it down
But what would happen then
I need control, so I keep runnin'
Maybe I should let my life unfold just as it is
But I'm afraid to know who I'm becoming
I'm often pulled into my old ways
And it's familiar so I stay
'Cause I get sick of the healing sometimes
And I just want to live my damn life
Sometimes it all becomes a cliché
The mindfulness, the namaste
I got demons I sweep under rugs
That remind me of who I once was
Maybe I should slow it down
But what would happen then
I need control, so I keep runnin'
Maybe I should let my life unfold just as it is
But I'm afraid to know who I'm becoming
I miss the old me sometimes
The drunken dreamer with stars in his eyes
But the future is a trap and I'm slowly learning that
But the past is hard to redefine
Maybe I should slow it down
And learn to feel my pain
I won't lock it away
It's meant for something
I can't heal what I can't feel
So give me all the rain
And I'll learn to face
At a slow and steady pace
Who I'm becoming