My name is Hagrid and I have to say
This Hogwarts school is not okay
There are too many stairs
What's the deal?
Why can't I get a teleporting meal?
You call it a school?
But it's not that cool
I'm to blame
But what can you do
Your school is based whos a good boy
Let's see who's dumbledores favourite toy
You're the boy who lived
What a shame
Your parents are dead and you're to blame
You came to this school to have a good time
But you're just committing a terrible crime
Hello Hermione you think you're so smart
But yeah
Hmm
Where should I start?
Your hair looks like its covered in flees
But sadly it's not as pretty as me
Teacher's pet
Never by yourself
Dumbledore thought you were a house-elf
Oh hey it's Ron...
Oh yeah the boy everyone forgot
Ooh
Roasted by the hagrid
Hagrid
He's the best
Puts the students to their rest
Then he's gonna eat their souls
Cause he sold his soul for rock and roll
There's a snake in the bathroom
That's my meal
And a troll in the dungeon?
No big deal
Children die and turn to stone
While I'm at my cabin smoking some bone
Maybe explain yourself Dumbledoor
Nope
You're too busy pissing on the floor
You're an old man
I can understand
But leaving a baby alone is kinda bad plan
Snape the incel
What a jerk.
You're a bully who shouldn't work
Stop chasing a woman who's dead
Even so
She still won't give you head
Voldemort?
Don't make me laugh!
You're just as pathetic as your emo staff
Make a big deal about creating tragedies
But you've never eaten children in front of their families
HAHA LOSER
You're listening to the hagrid bonus track
No, you cant have your money back!