So you want to join the ranks of the Dread Crew?
To toss your lot in life in with the sordid likes of us?
Here there's gold, blood, and glory
Not just holes but epic stories
A chance to leave this world with more than dust
Well I will tell you you will haul, you will fight and you may die
But liquid gold and golden coin won't be in short supply
Yet once you climb onboard your soul is never coming back
So you best now leave your conscience here to die
The men who stand before you are your officers and keys
They've held their own against the many demons of the seas
It's to them that you will answer your lives are now their whim
And if you meet with their displeasure you fucking better know to swim
Riven the first mate is seen as my right hand
Smithy guides this floating hulk across the sea and land
Stark the quartermaster is the man who gives you life
He is your judge, he is your jury and you best not cause him strife
Deckard our boatswain is the master of the sails
T-bone master gunner here just likes to blow up whales
And Rouba fucking Jouba I don't know what he does here
But he changed his name to Francis and he fucking disappeared
And me? I am your captain but refer to me as God
I am the master, the commander, and at sea my word is law
Now that you're onboard let's cast off shore and follow through
You've got a heavy day ahead, welcome to the crew!