She wore an apron That was covered in gravy stains She had a little green book And she had varicose veins I was tired, I was hungry I was ready to snap She dropped the steaming gumbo Right in my lap I was alone Otherwise I would have trashed the place But I was soothed by the Muzak and a beautiful face The meat was chewy and the chicken was bland I'm not a gannet But she had me eatin' out of her hand And I feel, and I feel And I feel like a milkshake I never ordered a slice of life à la mode What I need is an earthquake I could hide in the crack in the road But I feel like a milkshake (Ooh, like a milkshake) She started sponging my pants It really tickled She took my plate And sank her teeth into my pickle She sat down on my lap And started picking my teeth She was naked as a baby underneath We were lost in a dream On a bed of fluffy rice When I was grabbed by the chef He had a grip like a vise He had gold medallions and a hairy chest I gave him back his wife But he was still depressed And I feel, and I feel And I feel like a milkshake I never ordered a slice of life à la mode What I need is an earthquake I could hide in the crack in the road But I feel like a milkshake (Ooh, like a milkshake) I tipped heavy so they wouldn't think The English are mean I saw a ground beef patty hit the coffee machine I could tell this gorilla was the moody kind I could have used a doggy bag But I changed my mind One of these hungry days when my luck runs dry I'm gonna meet that Great Soda Jerk in the sky Setting the heavenly blender for the final frappé He'll wipe the fudge from his beard And then he'll probably say: Do you feel, do you feel Do you feel like a milkshake At the end of your slice of life à la mode? We could split a devil's food cake But the man with the van never showed So we'll both have a milkshake (Ooh, have a milkshake, ooh, have a milkshake) (Ooh, have a milkshake)