What in all of heaven could've promted her to go?
After such a triumph as the ball?
What could've depressed her?
What could've possessed her?
I cannot understand the wretch at all
Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating irritating, vacillating, calculating agitating
Maddening and infuriating hags!
Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?
_Hmm?
Yes...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does everyone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up like their fathers instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
_Of course not!
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
_Nonsense
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
_Never
Why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit
Now and then there's one with slight defects
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
The men are so friendly, good natured and kind
A better companion you never will find
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
_Of course not!
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
_Nonsense
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
_Never
Well, why can't a woman be like us?
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?