You stumble in path and you want to run away.
You find yourself holding onto yesterday.
The line is fading fast, theirs so much left to say.
The weight of your past holds you down again.
Im sorry for every time that I hurt you.
I was living like a dog and you called me to live in virtue.
You searched my heart but I never searched for you.
I was to busy finding my satisfaction in the slop of society.
And when the consequences came I had
The audacity to look at you and say why me?
I don't get it,
You named the sin and I did it, I feel the shame cause I'm in it.
Sometimes the weight of my past makes it hard for me to breathe
And they say it gets better, but the future is to far for me to see.
I cant look out the windshield when I
Have a million people holding up rear views.
Im a rechet man and I don't belong anywhere near you but your hand is
Still out and you say come as I am but why do you
Keep telling me to come when you know that I cant.
I never heard you speak until I held that gun in my hand,
And when I pressed it to my chest you told me to stop im standing
Here with nothing in my hands because nothing is all that I got i
Don't know why you want me when I don't want myself and
Those pills I popped did nothing that will stunt my health.
The doctor said Id feel better with Xanax and Lexapro I popped pills
By the bottle but still couldn't let you go because every time I ran
From reality the reality of who you are ran to me you
Said you had plans for me, is this who you'd plan id be
So many lies told about me like plan B,
Or did you have more for me numb to the pain like morpheme but the
Highs always stop but the headaches wouldn't and I must of
Lied to a thousand people in the Meet and Greet lines I stood in.
Fake smiles and forced prayers for their family's and health trying
To give them the hope I never felt for myself,
Get back home and stick that bible back on that shelf.
I spent more time talking about you than I talk with
You, I felt like judos when he betrayed you and kissed you.
Clayton Michael a scariet a flawed
Sinner who took his sin and tried to bury it.
Only to find out my sin was to heavy and I couldn't carry it.
So this is me so take it but I suggest you leave it.
My dad use to warn me but id never heat it.
Suit and tie on the outside but I have the heart of a felon.
Sin looked good but life got hard when i fell in and i couldn't get
Out I sank into the sunken place and lived without,
Without church and without the bible slummed over soking hours away
From my next revival like a rock star with no rock and no star of
David the spot light was my instrument and I learned to play it and
The music sounded good to the masses who massed in amazement
They never saw the depressed Clayton strung out in the basement.
If I could go back id do anything i could to change it.
Memories when I was authentic are ancient,
I was never in this for recitation or payment but that changed
Somewhere along those millions miles of pavement and I've passed
A-lot of road kill on the way and
Maybe ill get killed on the road some day.
People write death threats and think that it bothers me but let me
Show you the honest me honestly,
I get why people hate me but I have
No clue why some are so fond of me.
Id be fine with leaving the world today or tomorrow.
The end of life has two doors like a Monte Carlo,
I hope I'm on the highway to heaven and some day I can I get let in I
Hope some day I stop trying to carry the weight of my
Past and I let him because all you ever wanted from me was ME.
You tried showing me road blocks I was to stubborn to see you,
Took my shame and you took my lost and you
Said I forgive you when you hung that cross.
Im sorry for every time I left you.
The scandal is my sin.
The ending is your rescue.
Just let go, just let go.