I ain't never had no Lucky Charms My feckin' stout ain't green Don't worry 'bout catching no leprechauns And my Irish eyes don't gleam Won't have me Christmas in Killarney Never heard no damn Banshee If that's what it is to bein' Irish Well that's feckin' news to me (Chorus) 'Cause our beer is black and We serve it cold Been drinking & fightin' Since I'm 3 years old Don't know Danny Boy Got no pot of gold I'm the real deal feckin' IRISH! The road to Dublin ain't that rocky I go rovin' but I ain't wild Saw you kiss that blarney stone And we all just feckin' smiled I rarely dance and I never jig It's true I like my whiskey Won't catch me on the Cliffs of Mohr It's just too goddamn risky (Chorus) Don't really believe in being so lucky I'm not a priest nor cop Don't know Bono or Van Will you please just feckin' stop Don't eat much corn beef and cabbage Drive a cab and live in Wicklow You been in Ireland just two days Well I think it's 'bout time that you go (Chorus) Wind at your back The road will rise All the good cheer That's just a farce Wish we had one big green door So we could slam it on you arse (Chorus 3x)