I watch you tear me open And you say it doesn't have to be this way And I know I must be leaving You say it doesn't have to be this way I'm leaving Same reasons And I don't know what's gonna happen Sometimes the train sounds like the ocean When I'm asleep and leaving town I close my eyes and notice all the worst things Sometimes your steps sound like a freight train As I am lost and on the tracks I close my eyes and realize we're further away And now a few times a year, I can't fall asleep Without a pill down my throat It takes some weight off of my feet And I don't know what's gonna happen When I was 18, I swore I'd never But ten years has a way of teaching Now I'm learning That if I want to sleep There's some things I can't keep to myself And if I want to leave There's some things I can't keep And I don't know what's gonna happen When I was 18 I swore I'd never Take any pills to keep it together And I told my father that I'd be stronger That I'd find a way to do this no longer Now I'm 28, ten years to the day That I left for college to find a new calling Now I'm in my bedroom apartment in Brooklyn And I'm in full panic and I think I've had it And I think you've had it And we're further away